Yesterday was such a glorious day - a day full of crafty inspiration, whimsical enchantment and topped off with Garlic Chicken from Granville. I was a little kid in the lollyshop at the annual Stitches and Craft Fair out at Rosehill Racecourse. The stall holders, the exhibitors, the 'Craft Labs' and workshop studios - it was wonderful! Being in an environment with so much eye candy, completely reinvigorated my creative fire and left me inspired with a head full of ideas (not to mention the back pack full of loot)!
It was exactly what I needed - a reward for succumbing to work demons. Work demons which leave me fighting mental battles with myself, dealing with the fact that I spend the majority of my life doing something I'm good at but not passionate about, in exchange for financial freedom. i,e. The craft show reminded me of the upside of doing my day job. I was quite literally a little kid in a candy shop yesterday, with no parent (well, in my case - fiance) to govern my purchases, and I had free reign over my credit card. Don't get me wrong, I was wise about my purchases but also unrelenting with my desires. I deserved it and not only do I have a whole heap of new goodies to play with, my creative fire has been reignited and what's even better - I've made a choice.
My internal anguish arose because I felt like I was without a choice - that I was stuck and forced to do what I didn't love doing (i.e. It's not the "when I grow up I want to be a rockstar" career I had envisioned) but I HAD to do it due to grown up commitments such as getting married, committing to a mortgage for a house, start a family etc. The craft fair made me realise that I had a choice. The alternate choice was going to the craft fair with no expendable income, and spending all my time there wondering around depressed as I would want to buy the new Hot Fix applicator and the $40/metre beaded lace, but not being able to afford it. The upside of that lifestyle would probably be that I'd be spending my days doing things I love. The downside - worrying about how to make enough money to pay bills from it. The stresses would be different, the worries will be monetarily focused but in essence, stress and worries would still exist.
This realisation has freed my mind. I don't feel trapped anymore. I've made a choice and I choose to be a suit in the day and a passionate crafter at night.
I choose to keep money making and hobbies separate.
I choose the life that I am living.
The funny thing is that froom the onset, there has been no significant changes in my life between today and two weeks ago when I was in dire mental angst. All it's taken is a realisation, a conscious change in my mental perspective of my life, and voila - inner peace.
My learnings from this is this - stop verbally and mentally, criticising your life. Bring awareness to the criticism the minute you start and make a conscious decision to stop doing it so that it doesn't spiral out of control. A situation doesn't become positive or negative until the mind subconsciously starts to judges it. So make a conscious decision and take control - judge it positively.
It's all in your mind.
It's all in your mind.
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