Time Out - Need to find 'me'

It's a lovely rainy day. I'm so glad I took the day off work today as I am in dire need of some "me time".

I feel like I've lost my perspective on my job, my relationship... my life. Lately, I have been letting the smallest things eat away at me mentally, causing me stress, anxiety and paranoia.

Yes, it was a good decision to take the day off today. I need a day to recuperate. A day to think and find 'me' again.

I had a discussion with my manager the other day where I had to voice what I thought were my biggest "challenges" when it came to work. In my opinion, 'Challenges' is just a kinder word for 'negative traits' or 'areas which need to be improved'.

The two things which we both agreed on are one, I lack confidence in myself, and two, I care too much about the opinions of others.

If five years ago, you were to tell anyone who knew me that those were the personality traits of Jacki Wong, they would have laughed in your face.

So when did I lose 'me'?

The me I use to be was a proud Leo who had the confidence to take on the world. Who didn't care about the opinions of anyone apart from the ones she loved. She wasn't timid. She was loud to a point were she could have come across obnoxious and crude (often getting herself into trouble).

What happened to her?

I just had a chat with my mum whom I truly believe is one of my guardian angels.
She reminded me the reason why I work. The fact that people are often jealous of those who are better than them and hence, I was going to cop criticism regardless of what I did. She reminded me that me getting angry or upset or agitated with people at work, does not change how much I get paid every fortnight.

She reminded me of who I am, why I do what I do, and that whether work is good or bad is just a matter of perspective. Life doesn't come branded with 'good' and 'bad' adjectives.

I love my mum.
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