Why do I care so much about the opinions of strangers? People who don't know me but may have preconceived notions of who I am, what I stand for, what I believe - all through gossip and rumours. Why do I antagonise myself over what others may or may not think of me?
I've worked it out. It is because of my own insecurities. My lack of confidence in what I say, what I do and most importantly - in who I am, has made me a self target for me. I'm paranoid and miserable over the 'supposed' perceptions of others.
Some people tell me that confidence will be developed and strengthened in time through more life experiences. This is true and maybe I just need to be patient. But in my job where people rely on my opinion and advice, where I feel ostracised because I am relatively younger than my colleagues of the same managerial level, where there is a work club which requires a certain level of ego and confidence for entry - I need that confidence in myself NOW.
"Other people's opinion of you does not have to become your reality"
My mind knows this... but my heart doesn't believe it.
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